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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 856
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Hi Everyone
I've been suspended from work! Initially I was going to be investigated through the school's disciplinary policy for ' gross negligence' but was told yesterday that I was to be suspended with immediate effect! Won't bore you with the details but it's all very dubious.
Some of you may have read my posts on this topic before- the head getting at me several times since being diagnosed and he has an agenda to get rid of me. I knew it was only a matter of time before it started again -but this time he really excelled himself!
I'm trying to keep a brave face on it- and enjoy a rest - but it's stressing me out big time. And surprise surprise, my blood pressure's up! No doubt a flare's on the way.
Thankfully I have good union support so here's hoping. Once I get this bit sorted I need to consider action over the effect this has been having on my health.
Will keep posted
Maria
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 6/18/2010 Posts: 351 Location: Herne Bay Kent
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Hi Maria
So sorry to hear you are being treated so apallingly at work. I can imagine the stress you are under.
However your health is the most important thing so try and stay positive and rest while you are able. I presume the situation will not be resolved this side of Christmas but try not to let it spoil your holiday.
Hope that you get the resolution that you want from this situation.
Best Wishes
Sue
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 5/2/2012 Posts: 670 Location: where the sun always shines :o
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 Hi Maria So so sorry that you have been treated in such a bad way. Some employers so don't understand us. Please try to let it not stress you. I remembered your other posts and thought the headmaster was a pest then (there are more stronger words)  Its good that you have a union to help you. The thing with flares, we have no on off switch  Thinking of you Maria Jane Xxx
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 9/3/2011 Posts: 717 Location: Torbay
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Hi Maria. This is an unbelievably stressful situation. It's a good job that you are in the union. I'm sure they will be very thorough in how they deal with this situation. Whilst I don't know the ins and outs of your situation, I would advise anyone in your position to write down details of anything that might be relevant, where possible including dates, times, names etc. Be careful who you talk to from work now. You never know who you can trust and your behaviour will be under scrutiny. Try not to worry too much. It will all come out in the wash in the end. Take this opportunity to get some rest which we RAers all need. Keep us posted on how things progress....and good luck!, X
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 5/28/2012 Posts: 665 Location: Newton Abbot
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Hi Maria - so sorry to hear such bad news. I can only echo Naomi's post - write everything down objectively and take your union's advice. Try to rest while you can and make plans for various outcomes - even the worst ones - if you have a fallback plan then that can help you deal with the uncertainties more calmly, and it can give a clearer perspective on what is truly important and what is less so. It might be a good idea to get an appointment with the rheumy nurse as this level of stress is very likely to cause some sort of flare, so it's much better to catch that early - maybe this is the time for steroids if you're in too much pain. Very best wishes - and do keep posting, as we're always here for you to vent! Love and Hugs - Sylvia xx Be kinder than is necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 856
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Thanks everyone for your kind words and advice.
The union rep is going to speak to the legal dept so he is clearly not happy with the situation. He has also decided that he will book meetings with the Head on my behalf. The first thing he's going to do is ask why I've been suspended as I don't meet any of the criteria. It will be interesting to see what the rat says! Ironically, the complaint only applied to one class, so by suspending me he's affecting the education of all the other students I teach.
I'm not the only one this has happened to in the past and there's a clear pattern to his behaviour.
Naomi- thanks for your advice of being careful who I speak to. A former colleague who was in a similar situation 18 months ago found out the hard way.
I saw the rheummy nurse last Thursday and burst into tears on her. She was a great support and has logged it all in my notes, as has the consultant on previous occasions. My rheumatoid levels were up so she's increased the mtx. I'm seeing my GP next week ( or probably sooner) as my blood pressure was up.
I don't know how long this will take- it might be resolved before christmas but even if it is, I can't see me going back before then.
Meanwhile- watching create and craft, QVC, all my favourite 'useless' channels and making the best of the enofrced rest!
Jane- I love the pic of the dog- assume it's yours?
Maria
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 5/2/2012 Posts: 670 Location: where the sun always shines :o
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Maria Glad to hear from you , aaahhh the trashy channels on tv !! Must say, I've had a peek before! The old 1980's shows with John Nettles, murder she wrote! Anything to lower stress levels. I like yankee candles on qvc if I remember to look online to see when they are on for a peek at new lines. We did craft yesterday at my daughter birthday party whilst we waited for 12 5-6 year old pizzas to cook after they made them. Bought foam like ginger bread shapes with stickers and googly eyes from hobby craft. They enjoyed the creations! May I follow on from Naomi, speak to no one about this work wise. Long story I took a greiv out against work colleague - not like me to do this kind of thing earlier this year - was awful, messy, but I spoke to no one and still don't. Have to work with the office trouble maker tho. Its my dog - Poppy a ruby cavalier, she lovely! Have a tri-coloured chunky cav.....he doesn't do photos!  Take care Xxx
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 856
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Hi Jane
Thanks for your advice. I was considering a grievance against my head of dept as she is causing a lot of my problems. I did try to speak to the dept line manager about her but got no support. She is sadly a malicious scheming @#!*%$* and difficult to deal with.
Spent 5 hrs in A&E today- chest pains, shortness of breath etc. They were fantastic but concluded it wasn't a heart attack. however, they have detected a murmur so have to see the cardiologist. Has been logged as psychological stress due to difficulties at work. More ammunition.
Poppy is lovely. My brother used to breed cavs- now he just rescues them, and King Charles Spaniels. Last count I think he had 8! When I retire ( which given current circumstancs might be closer than I'd like) I'd love to have a dog. At the moment I have to content myself with my lovely bunny, Peter ( he in my picture).
Maria x
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 1/21/2012 Posts: 388 Location: Powys
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Marie, I really feel for you, stress should be a complete no no with ra. My working life has been in schools, but thankfully I've always had brill. heads and didn't get ra until after I had retired. I presume you are in a senior school which I would think itself is not such a close community as a primary school. Does he have any understanding of what ra is really about, or perhaps its an inconvenience to him! Did he talk to you fully about the incident and let you give your views about what has been said before taking such a major step, and and riskiing your reputation? I have no experience of this sort of incident, but sounds as though there are some very sensible comments made here. Hope you get it all sorted soon, and yes take it as an extended holiday until you can get back to normal.  Have some ME time and try not to think about it all too much. Zena xx
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 5/2/2012 Posts: 670 Location: where the sun always shines :o
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what a day for you. At least you have been seen and diagnosed, also puts your mind at rest. The people that cause so much meddling and trouble don't understand how it effects us. Have you told your occupational health or emailed them about your hospital visit today?  Try not to get stressed, give Peter lots of cuddles - he is scrummy and needs hugging!  Your brother is amazing taking in cavs, my last one was a rescue called Rosie. Sadly she died when she was 6 years old - she was rescued from an airing cupboard was a puppy farm dog with dermadex mange. Needed weekly parafin baths - itched all the time and her heart couldn't go on. She's been gone about 4 years, had a yorkie and collie they both went within Rosie going withing 5 months - they were both 11 years old. Ooohhh dear, please all don't be sad  Keep a diary of who where why what when - witnesses if poss. BUT PLEASE DON'T get stressed - we are here to "hear" you get it all off your chest. Just helping my daughter with thank you cards for school friends that gave her birthday gifts. Take care Xxx
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 856
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Thanks Zena
No- he just plunged straight in with the suspension- it all started with a complaint from a spiteful student which he wanted to discuss with me- when I got to his office expecting just to discuss it he told me he was taking disciplinary action- no warning and certainly an extreme step given the circumstances. I agve him a 4 page response to the complaint but he seems to have ignored that. Five days later- out of the blue- suspension! He hasn't followed procedure so the union are onto him big time. He knows full well that stress is the worst thing for RA . I know his agenda- we have a student teacher in the dept who, when she's qualified, will be a good 10k cheaper than me to employ.
Jane- sorry to hear about your lovely dogs. I lost my other bun in July- Flopsy ( our first was an adopted one called Benjamin, hence the Beatrix Potter thread)). She was a cute little dwarf, almost 10 , but a very tough bunny,quite a character, who gave poor Peter a hard time. We didn't get another, and Pete's loving all the attention.
I have informed my union rep about the hospital episode and have copies of the report. At the moment I feeel drained, but he's not going to get away with this. When I'm feeling stronger and able to fight back, I will. Trouble is he's a schemer and will dredge up all kinds of rubbish- he did it before to another colleague.
Thanks for your kind thoughts both of you.
Maria
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 5/28/2012 Posts: 665 Location: Newton Abbot
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Hi Marie - what shocking events. I've no experience of any of this sort of thing but I feel very shocked on your behalf. You're obviously doing all the right things and keeping documentation each step of the way, so you will be able to fight back. And very best wishes for all of that - as Jane says we're here to listen. Just remember that your health will be with you much longer than a career, so give it the attention that it deserves. Clearly you have lots of talents, and if a door closes then other doors open - that I do have experience of! It's astonishing how opportunities appear at the right time if you give them a chance. All best wishes - Sylvia xx Be kinder than is necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 856
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Sylvia- thanks for your encouraging post.
At the moment, I feel very angry. After 30+ years of dedicated, unblemished service, I wont be a happy bunny if I do have to leave. I'm not the first it's happened to. This man has a track record, and needs to be stopped. Rant over. My brother and niece are coming to see me on Saturday, which will be lovely.
Maria
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 856
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Hi everyone-an update
After a lot of thought, discussion with friends family and union, and having counselling I have decided that I don't really want to go back to work in that place. The whole sequence of events has just made me so ill that it isn't worth it. I'm still signed off with psychological stress and depression. Although in the past I have stood up to him and fought, this time it is getting all too much for me. I haven't made any definite decision yet as I have to consider what is best for me. I still feel that he can't be allowed to get away with this, and need to look closely at whether or not I have a case for taking out a grievance against him. Although this in itself will be stressful. It appears that everything seems to work in favour of the perpetrator rather than the victim! To be honest, I haven't missed teaching at all, and have found plenty to do to occupy myself. I'm also in the fortunate position of being 4 yrs off retirement- it's not as if I'm a young person early in my career. Interestingly enough , the RA has settled down since I've been off work- which I think speaks volumes!
Will keep you posted
Maria
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 2,237 Location: nr Southampton
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Just to say Maria I think you've made the right decision Move on with your head held high how to be a velvet bulldoser
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 9/3/2011 Posts: 717 Location: Torbay
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Maria, I can't say I blame you at all. I mean who in their right mind would want to go back to a place like that. It sounds like you've thought this through and have made up your mind. However........just be sure that you get everything you're entitled to. Definitely look into the grievance side of things. If your boss has acted illegally then you might be able to get compensation and this could make up for the loss of 4 years pension contributions. It sounds like you have done everything you can in terms of involving the union so now sit back and relax and be glad you don't have to go back in. You never know you might end up so well without work that you can find a less stressful part time job (if you want one). Good luck, and please keep us posted of any future developments. Well done for getting through this tough period. Us RAers are made of quite strong stuff eh? xxx
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 9/3/2011 Posts: 717 Location: Torbay
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Maria, I can't say I blame you at all. I mean who in their right mind would want to go back to a place like that. It sounds like you've thought this through and have made up your mind. However........just be sure that you get everything you're entitled to. Definitely look into the grievance side of things. If your boss has acted illegally then you might be able to get compensation and this could make up for the loss of 4 years pension contributions. It sounds like you have done everything you can in terms of involving the union so now sit back and relax and be glad you don't have to go back in. You never know you might end up so well without work that you can find a less stressful part time job (if you want one). Good luck, and please keep us posted of any future developments. Well done for getting through this tough period. Us RAers are made of quite strong stuff eh? xxx
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Rank: Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 9/15/2012 Posts: 18
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Maria, I too think you’re making the right decision. No job is worth that angst. If you do decide to leave, make sure you do it on your terms and in your timing, not the school’s.
Several years ago I was in a similar situation, where I was being victimised and falsely accused of all sorts of things (it turned out the person leading the attack on me wanted my job) which was frightening and devastating and rocked my confidence and self-belief. Eventually I had to get an employment solicitor and the first thing she said was that if I didn’t care about the organisation then I should leave and find another job, as to fight it would be months of battling, more attacks on my character and even if I won it would do untold damage to me. It was good advice. Now I would suggest the same to anyone in this situation as long as they can afford to leave and they are happy to move on to something else.
And I hate that stupid saying “There’s no smoke without fire.” It’s a complete load of rubbish.
Just one more thing – I know you want to prevent the same thing happening to other people, and I love your passion for justice, but do you really want to go through the stress of a grievance procedure? Is this fair to you? Have you not been through enough? My experience of people in power, with power issues, is that they keep getting away with it anyway, no matter how many people try to stand up to them. Choose your battles – is this one you really want?
Take care
Love Katie x
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Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009 Posts: 856
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Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and advice which have cheered me up and reassured me that I am doing the right thing.
Jenni- yes I will hold my head high. Sad way to go but I know as do many others, that I've done no wrong and he can't take away the good times.
Naomi- It has been a very tough period with many tears shed but I've got through it. It will take some time to get over but as you say, I'm glad I can relax. I probably will think about getting a part time job after I've had a good rest. Or if not, I'd quite like to do some voluntary work, perhaps in our local hospice. Yes we RAers are made of stern stuff. I've always been a fighter by nature and there are times when I've enjoyed giving this guy a run for his money! But in the end it all got too much. Yes- I will leave in my own time.
Katie- apart from the Head, my head of dept was behind a lot of this, feeding him with a lot of ammunition. She is one of the most unpleasant people I have ever had the misfortune to work with. Ironically, she did get my job as I was head of dept but gave up that role due to the RA. She has proved to be rather inefficient and has probably been reprimanded- hence I suffered.
It still amazes me how people in authority get away with abusing it and can do this to other human beings- particularly when they are vulnerable. It's not the place it used to be and I don't really care about it any more.
Having made the decision I feel a great weight has been lifted. It is sad to leave a place I've loved working in ( well- except for the last couple of years) but I've got friends there who I keep in touch with and will continue to see. It will probably hit me from time to time but the positives far outweigh the negatives. I'm already thinking about all the things I want to do, that I never had time for when I was working.
Thanks for the support and for 'listening'
Love to you all.
Maria
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Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 838 Location: Nottinghamshire
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I've just been reading all of this and I do think you have made the right decision here. You have said since you have been off work your RA has settled down, so if you can manage financially without having all of this stress it really is an easy choice to make.
Reading your last post about your head of department and how she is and how inefficient she is doing what was your job in the past, do you think that she is frightened that they may decide to offer you your old job back?
I have thought about doing voluntary work again, I use to help at my local hospital one morning a week and at the nearby hospice. I think out of the two the hospital would be my choice. I enjoyed the hospice but it was upsetting at times, you do get to know the patients and their family and then the inevitable happens.
Good Luck in what ever you decide to do.
Paula x
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